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My Life As An Eliminated Position : The Journey Continues

In a similar position we all must surely think "why me" when something like having your position eliminated happens to you.  I also think "why not me?" It can, and does,  happen to any one of us in a flash a heat beat can bring chaos and change. Maybe we should think "who better than me?". Easy to say and hard to do for certain!

Now that the initial despair of the aftermath (and the attendant swelling of eyes and face) of learning that my position is being eliminated has passed the next  phase - (perhaps a bit of mourning?)  has begun.  I met with the Union President yesterday, I may have a case. Heck, I should have a case! The process has began. I think I am returning to more rational thought and the lethargy of depression has lifted just a bit. In all honesty, I'm worried about the potential of returning to full time work in a highly stressed environment - knowing that it will take a heavy toll on my body has made me take a step back and think, hopefully, a bit more clearly.

I go through the the steps that must be what everyone in this position takes.  What monthly expenses (audible, netflix) can I eliminate?  How will I pay off an outstanding bill  - makes me glad I paid off the others already! What will this all mean to me in the long run? Can I survive? I'm not a fashion plate at least - maybe my hair will have to grow out and I will allow the gray to settle in. How will I possible manage without the thrill of new art tools and supplies?! That's my biggest concern?! How ludicrous is that !!  The sun will rise and set in the sky my cameras will still click, the flowers will bloom and the weather will change. The world hasn't changed a whit - so I should just follow suit and stand strong in the wind and carry on - knowing that it will somehow all work out for the best.

At my  (not quite venerable but tottering on it)  age I can't start all over again. Thank God they haven't - thus far- clipped unemployment insurance. Maybe I should just relax some more and let the process wash over me and and settle where it will. I've never been much of a 'swimming against the stream' kind of person and I really dislike tangling and strife - so maybe the shore I land on will bring unexpected blessings my way. I have always believed  - though at times more easily than others - that things happen for a reason - and the edges of my perception are telling me to accept this as something that will bring good to me rather than discord and mayhem.

I hate to bring more financial burden to DH. Returning to full time work worries me on a strictly physical level and that's something that no one can understand if they haven't had similar physical issues. Then again if that's what happens my bottom line for Social Security- presuming it still exists - will look better in the few years it will be until I do take my final 'separation' song at the County.

One thing this has taught me is that being at work is not about being fair, friendly, considerate or agreeable. It's about being rigorous about protecting yourself.

Thanks to a friend's comment I realized that I should specify  that I am not generalizing when I speak about management in the following paragraph. I know that not all management groups are like this - I've been on that side of the fence as well, but  I am speaking specifically of the group of people in charge at this time who have not taken  pay cuts, given up raises or taken any personnel cuts in their offices). I know that there are wonderful managers who care about their departments and their employees and who would fight tooth and nail to keep their employees together. I also understand the hard realities of income and running a business or government - I am not upset about that. I am upset about seniority issues - and a thorough lack of representation about that specific issue. Heck - I may not be upset any more as I look toward some time without that stress of Court life.
Our management, by and large, is composed of numbers crunchers who would sell their mother's to the devil for another hundred thousand dollar survey and who will continue to accept raises and spend money wantonly while they cheerfully eliminate a worker bees pittance salaries.  I took on additional work that my administrator told me to and did not go to the union for "out of class pay". I thought I was being a responsible, "do what I can for the team" worker. I did not go to the union to ask what ramifications agreeing to go to part time work would have on my seniority. I was never advised that there would be any detrimental ramifications to my seniority - I am the most senior person in the department and presumed (bad thing to do) that this fact would give me leverage if it was ever needed. That's the issue that the Union (AFSCME) will have to decide with the County. Seniority should give you bumping rights over anyone in any position that you have perfomed in your 'bargaining unit' . Lord! I hate this union lingo!

I am not a church goer but I do have a heck of lot of faith and I do believe in a power greater than myself - faith is what will carry me over this burble. Still, I wish I could make just a little money from the work of my hands - maybe that will be the magic that happens.  All is well. All will be well.

If anyone has any ideas for me about how to make some extra bits of money for art supplies let me know !


  1. It stinks doesn't it ......we are having similar events where i work i am a teacher and I thought that my job would be secure but the powers that be have cut back art in the school for 2 years running and we are a whole art teacher spare again this year ..they wont listen to the benefits of art because they are ICT people and have put that subject above art i may be joining you sometime soon ......keep your chin up .....everything happens for a reason ..there maybe a fat silver lining waiting for you .......x

  2. I completely understand your anger, but as you look to go back into the job market I hope you will not project this opinion on all managers.

    "Management, by and large, is composed of numbers crunchers who would sell their mother's to the devil for another hundred thousand dollar survey and who will continue to accept raises and spend money wantonly while they cheerfully eliminate a worker bees pittance. "

    Having had management roles for a number of years, not all managers think this way. It's a human trait at all levels that is held by some people everywhere but I don't believe that it's universal to a class of people. You will find a place that has good managers and good co-workers. I do believe that because I've worked in such places.

  3. I am so sorry this has happened to you, but one thing is for sure, you need to take care of yourself physically and emotionally so that you can fight the good fight.


  4. It has to be hard to go through all this! What about getting a job at an art supply store (maybe they have employee discounts)? Selling some of your artwork? Teaching art techniques? I hope you get compensated some how, through your union. Good luck with everything!

  5. Sadly. this path is well trodden - when I lost my job and any discretionary (read - art stuff) income is when I had to start selling some of the Art that I was making.

    Finding that to be easier said than done, I found that selling unique raw materials, mostly to other artists, paid just enough for me to buy the things I needed to move forward with my own art and not dent the food budget.

  6. Everything happened for a reason. You can make it through.

    Cassy from Rock Guitar Lessons

  7. I could say that when one door closes, another one opens, but having been in you situation, I know that it feels like all doors are closed and locked tight. What I want to know is who is going to do the work when all is left is the over paid management. I know that I would take an online journaling class from you. I love your artwork. Wishing you sunny skies and prospects on the horizon.


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